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Life update.

Posted by electricaxe on March 24, 2009

Things don’t seem to be going right lately. I’m not complaining, I just find it helps to write how I’m feeling. So that’s what I’m doing.

I know I need to do many things in my life, make many changes. I don’t like the lax, yet stressful person I have become. I don’t want to really do anything, and then when I do I’m worried about how people will judge me for it.

Today was a pretty big day at work, a lot of announcements. A new boss is starting and he’s just been given the introduction to all the current staff. As well as that another of my ‘bosses’ just announced she is going to have a baby and is going on maternity leave soon. Everyone’s always having a baby in that place; it must be something in the water. I’m glad I bring my water bottled from home. I don’t need babies at the moment, thank you. Needless to say, things are going to start moving pretty fast in that place.

Yeah, so lots of things to change. I plan on getting rid of my job VERY soon. I’m just not happy in that place anymore. I’ve wanted to leave that place for a while, but I was always afraid of taking the step forward. It may seem like an easy step for some, but it’s something I had never had to do before. After talking to a few people (you all know who you are) I managed to get up the courage to tell my boss that I’m looking for another job. Man, it was such a good feeling, such a load off. I can’t thank those people enough for all there help and continued support in me. In the end, it wasn’t as difficult as I had led myself to believe. I’m on my way out of that place, I can feel it, and it feels great. Even though the job market is so unstable at the moment I am still considering giving it all in, while I look for another job. I’ve had my boss and my parents on me that ‘you need to have an income’, but everyday I almost loathe going into that place. I don’t even know why anymore. The job isn’t that bad. The people are nice and friendly. But I still just don’t wanna be there. I think I may have almost checked out mentally, now I’m just going through the motions.

Other things I need to do move out of home. Everyone says ‘stay at home as long as you can, you’ll regret it if you don’t’ this may be true and I understand were they are coming from. Why pay for any expenses if you can get it for free or cheap? But I have a feeling, a feeling I can’t quite explain. Although my parents are very protective of me they still give me my own space for the most part. I thank them for that. But I yearn for more freedom, freedom which I can’t get while I’m living under this roof. It’s nothing in particular, just generally. I wanna start to be my own person.

Speaking to my boss today, maybe I need a nice long holiday. To get my priorities in order. I dunno. At the moment I just want everything to happen. I know it’s not, it’ll all take time. I know that.

Maybe instead of leaving my work so soon, I should keep looking for a job and use that income to move out. Maybe. But where do I move to, if I don’t know where I am going to work. It’s hard to see which piece of the puzzle to start off with first. I’m hoping once I can change a major part of my life i.e. my job or living arrangements, that when it comes to changing smaller things it wont seem so hard. I’m not saying that I’ll quit my job and it’ll all be smooth sailing from then on. Nah, but I need to jump right in otherwise I’ll be forever testing the water.

Geeze what’s with me and water today. I guess I am a little thirsty.
Hey, you know what the first thing I should do is? Stop bitching on my blog. I think that’s a good start.

Completely off topic here, what’s with this.

WTF

Twitter Whale

Alright Twitter, are you’re over capacity or have you now lost the ability to transport stoned whales around? I’d Twitter about this, but I guess I can’t.

Okay, well I guess that’s me for now. I’ll try and make the next update less whiny.

Thanks for sticking around.

‘night all.

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